Tuesday, October 28, 2008

wedding blues

I had a hankering for some wedding last night and I "forced" Chad to watch our wedding video. We didn't pay for a videographer so it wasn't some spectacular multi camera event. It is just our friend Carter standing in the corner behind the altar. I popped in the video (we desperately need to transfer it to DVD) and sat down to relive one of the happiest days of my life.

As soon as it started and I saw all the people who love me and Chad in the pews I started to cry. It was eight years ago that we got married and so many things have happened to those dear dear people. Some of them are happy...they got married, had babies, grandbabies, etc. Seeing Bethany Ottley sitting with Seth Arganbright was so fun to see as they are now married and have a baby girl, Piper. To see Jon Colyer dancing with Claire Ottley..his soon to be sister-in-law made Chad and I laugh. But what struck me the most was all the horrible life events that have happened over the last eight years. Grandpa Miller died of cancer. Jim Breining died of cancer. Dan Bote died from a heart attack. Marilee Bote died from a broken heart just 2 weeks later. Lanny and Mary Caligiuri (my second set of parents) got divorced. Gary and Peggy Forster got divorced. I am sure there are others that I don't even know about. There were so many lost relationships. Gerry and Nancy Halterman were so good to me and I love them so much but haven't seem them in years. Ryan Halterman was my best friend for years and we have lost contact. There was so much mourning as I watched the video. Mourning the loss of life, love, and friendship.

1 comment:

Bethany said...

Oh Manda! Such is life...

I have not realized until I work on raising John how blessed we were to have a church family like the one at Redeemer. It is a tremendous loss, really... to come back to town and realize that the one place you could see all those people is gone.

Instead of mourning how the past is gone forever, I took time with my grief. True story about how much of a dork I am: I could not listen to Ray Conniff Christmas records because it was just too painful after my parents divorced. I just kept thinking to myself how nothing would ever be the same. Add to that the fact that Mom accidentally burned the house down, and now memories were emotionally and LITERALLY gone, well, it sucked.

Does it suck my parents got divorced? Yes. Does it suck that dear people we grew up with pass away or drift out of our lives? Umm, definitely.

But I think that is where kids become God's (slightly annoying) gift to us. I want Bub to have memories like I did. Cherished traditions, and goofy ones too. Neighbors that were good friends, people all over that we could visit on vacation... so I spend my energy on making relationships and memories he will cherish and pass on, like Ray Conniff records while the tree is decorated.

By the way... don't worry about my folks! Dad has Margaret, who is sweet and matches his unflagging energy and zest for yardwork. Mom has Gary, who shares the quiet moments with her and helped her build a home she loves.

Celebrate the moments and the memories, save them for your kids, and the glass becomes a lot fuller! Hope that makes sense.