"Dear mom and dad,
I'm sorry I've been sassy and all that lately. :-( yes she drew a sad face I just want you to know sometimes I feel like you LOVE Eli more. I didn't want to tell you in person cause I'm afraid you'll yell at me, and make me cry more. Just so you know I love you bunches.
Sinceresly-Madeline, your sad daughter."
Ugh. Here is the deal. She says that she feels like we love Eli more EVERY TIME she gets in trouble. I have explained to her time after time after time that it isn't true. That we love them the same. That we enjoy her just as much as we enjoy Eli. Then I go on to explain to her that she needs to be obedient the first time. That she needs to be nice to her brother. That she needs to think before she speaks and not be sassy. Another thing is trying to explain to her that just because she says she is sorry that it doesn't mean there are no consequences to her actions. We are working on the yelling thing. Literally it is like she doesn't hear us until we raise our voices. We have tried the whispering thing and we might as well be talking to a wall. Ugh.I can see why she would think in her 8 year old brain that we love Eli more. Eli very rarely gets in trouble. He is much more laid back and much more of a people pleaser. He wants to obey. We try to treat them exactly the same. They have the same privileges. The same bed time. She has to take the dog out and he doesn't. That is the only difference in their responsibilities and she likes doing it. It makes her feel more grown up.
So, what do I do? What would you do? I am really at a loss.
2 comments:
reading this is like a vision into my future! i know i'll be asking for the same advice in a few years. so when you figure all this out, be sure to write it down. until then--i'm sorry!
i don't know if this helps, but...
i remember feeling like my parents loved haverlee more (cause i always got in trouble and she "never" did). one thing i remember is that they made a point to affirm our differences. pointing out the things i was good at that she wasn't and vice versa. (not like, "you're good at drawing and haverlee isn't!" but just pointing out "wow, you're good at drawing." and "haverlee, you have such a beautiful voice!" etc.) i think knowing that we were unique and not expected to be the same person helped me know they loved me for who i was. although, i think i required a LOT of affirmation! haha. my parents still do that to this day.
btw:
i'm so glad you mentioned dinner. i DID forget! and now i'm so happy to not have to break into my frozen pizza reserves!
we are super-un-picky eaters. the only thing i don't really care for is peas. and even those i'll eat when disguised with enough butter & salt :).
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