Tuesday, May 25, 2010

back to square fat

It is true. I have gained back almost all the weight I lost last year. (Reminder: I lost 30 pounds last summer in preparation for our big Disney/beach trip.) I think I am still about 5 pounds down from my weight at the beginning of '09. So weight gain of 25 pounds.  It is a year and a half later and I am pretty miserable in my own skin. I try to tell myself that I am okay with how I look and feel. It is a lie.

Raw feelings alert: I feel disgusting. Fat and sloth like. I look stupid in most clothes or all clothes. I feel most comfortable holed up in my house wearing over sized t-shirts and too big pajama pants. It covers all the flaws.

So I ask myself, "Self, what the hell are you going to do about it?"
I answer myself, "Stop the excuses and get your butt in gear."

Here we go again. Back to square fat.


Goal: Get back to my wedding weight of 165/size 10.

Stats: Current weight (as of 3 weeks ago at a Drs appt - just tried our scale and it said I weighed 70 pounds. HA! I guess it is time to get a new scale! ) approx (weight is 3 weeks old). 227  
        

5 comments:

Michalle said...

Creepy coincidence. I started my diet yesterday (feels like AGES ago) and my starting weight is 227.

Let's do it, sistah!!

b.a. said...

you can, you can, you can, you can!!!

haverlee said...

I know as a "skinny friend" I really can't be all that encouraging since I haven't walked a day in your shoes (or weight, to be more accurate). But I'm so proud of you for setting this goal for yourself and can't wait to see you reach it! I want you to see yourself as all of your friends see you- smart, cute, funny and full of life and laughter (with just enough quirky on the side to make you ALWAYS fun to be around).

I love you and don't ever want your weight to keep you from doing things cause I love hanging out together!

Bethany said...

You can totally do it, Manda! Good luck!

Cin said...

I'm doing it, too, Manda! Go us! *chestbump*